[in-dif-fer-ence]

[in-dif-fer-ence]. originally posted on 19 december 2008

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i have always believed that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.” - Ellie Wiesel

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indifference is a noun that means: the quality or state of fact of being indifferent. hmm…i think that didn’t help much :) but maybe if we provide what indifferent means it would make a difference. so, indifferent is an adjective which means: having no particular interest or concern; having no marked feeling for or against; not mattering one way or the other; or being neither good nor bad. it would be cool to tell you that i’ve thought of all those definitions but i didn’t. :) that was taken from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionaryhttp://www.answers.com. and should we elaborate more, the thesaurus would bring us these bunch of words: without emotion or interest; apathetic; detached; insensible; unconcerned; uninterested and unresponsive and you’re probably wondering why i am blabbering about what indifference is. well, its just that once again, i have proven that i can be indifferent about issues that used to affect me so much and it is such a nice feeling. not being affected whatsoever. not being bitter but at the same time, not being happy either. just a steady mode.i guess there are some things, some people [more often] that we would just become indifferent to and i am not sure if it is safe to say that being indifferent could be one of the best feeling that we could ever feel [well at least, to me it is]; most especially if the case was, you were broken because of that certain circumstance and after much struggle, you were able to swim rather than sink.

recently, i visited or should i say, revisited a familiar memory - a phase in my life that was full of unpleasant memories [more than good ones]. i did that to perhaps check how i am with regard to that memory. i was checking how much i’ve healed. how far i’ve gone since i’ve started sailing on - and i was so happy to find out that at the end of that exercise (yikes! that sounded so technical! haha), i’ve realized that i’ve gone so far. i’ve healed so much. and my primary indicator was, my indifference. the feeling that i couldn’t care less anymore. i was feeling neither good or bad. i have no marked feelings. i was unresponsive. i was “just steady”.

now i can boldly say - i am done with you. i am finished. i am done making excuses just so you can be acceptable in my head. i may not have full forgiven myself for the mistakes i’ve made but i will get there. i’m getting there. you are now just part of the crowd. you don’t stand out. you wont stand out. you’re sort of like the generic kind of memory that is stored in my head, taking up space that is as good as a price tag of a ridiculous item that i wont even buy or that i would barely remember. it’s over. i am free.

*sighs* - a good sigh

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comment/s:

072581 - on January 11th, 2009 at 6:14 pm

good job :)